Due completely to luck, I had a great day trading today. One account is now only down by 11%, this is after a single trade on that account today netting a cool 15% (based on deposited value, not from current base value of account) If I were to use the base value of the account the trade was actually worth closer to 20%.
So meh.
Fed annoucement was completely uninspiring. No change. Market was completely WTF! But ASX rallied, and I trailed a stop for a few hours and closed out at nearly the peak for the day. F*ing sweet!
My bias was toward a rally on all markets across the board. However, CAC and DAX have both trended downward for the evening. So glad I didn't attempt to trade my bias and trash my account. Instead, I had pizza, beer and a couple hours of gaming.
Overall, after a month of the latest attempt, showing a net profit overall. One account is +12%, and the other -11%. So as you could guess, the net profit is quite small.
Weekend has arrived, bed is calling.
I ate too much pizza.
Friday, 18 September 2015
Wednesday, 16 September 2015
check, check and check
So yesterday the classic event happened. Traded really heavily. Paper profits reached as high as 40% of my account. The leverage was ratcheted up as high as I could get it. I knew I didn't need to do anything more for the day. My gradual recovery of one account was well underway. The other account had taken a hit, but with the blessing of over-trading and over-leverage it was looking sweet.
Totally crushed the ASX during the decline. Banked enough to be over 20% up overall, but more like 30% from the previous day.
Yeah! I rock the account churn like noone else you ever met! Up 50% down 75% up 20% down 50%! Fucking hey!
So I am sitting comfortably on a nice 20%, thinking to myself "that's enough for today. I got kids to watch out for. A missus that suspects something is up. A pile of stresses from work and relatives." Every rational and logical thing was pointing me toward taking a break. You can have one guess about what I actually did.
If you would have said someting along the lines of "Fucked it!" you would be correct. Higher risk, lower probability trades, and especially after doing E-Fucking-NOUGH for the day, should have meant playing with small amounts. NAH! Totally threw 8 units of CAC on and off six time in a row. Every single one of those trades make about 3% and each and every time I looked at that number:
First thought: I shoiuld bank that.
Followed quickly by:
Second thought: I did have a paper profit of 40%, that isn't going to be enough, just a couple ticks more.
Of course what then happens is the trend I was trying to fight would continue and I would find myself at the point of pain and jump out.
It wasn't the set-ups I was seeing that was the problem. IT wasn't that the moves weren't enough to make bread and butter with, it was my attitude and need for thrill. The drug fueled maniac wanted another hit. The home-body family man wanted out.
So Mr Drug-head got himself a big psychological hammer and beat Mr Family a few times till he got big mad enough to throttle Mr Drug-head and take control again.
I think this has the potential to be a big problem for me.
I don't want it to stop.
I know where it does stop on one hand - smashed account.
So I did something a little bit sensible. Not closing accounts and calling it quits, 'cause that would be quitting. I lowered my account leverage.
A small step. Can only carry 4 units of ASX and 3 of CAC. But it's half of where I was.
If I can just control the need to be in the market every time I look at it. I'll be a step closer still.
I think Angel should read this.
I find it so hard to speak to someone, but I can write shit to the internet with ease.
Totally crushed the ASX during the decline. Banked enough to be over 20% up overall, but more like 30% from the previous day.
Yeah! I rock the account churn like noone else you ever met! Up 50% down 75% up 20% down 50%! Fucking hey!
So I am sitting comfortably on a nice 20%, thinking to myself "that's enough for today. I got kids to watch out for. A missus that suspects something is up. A pile of stresses from work and relatives." Every rational and logical thing was pointing me toward taking a break. You can have one guess about what I actually did.
If you would have said someting along the lines of "Fucked it!" you would be correct. Higher risk, lower probability trades, and especially after doing E-Fucking-NOUGH for the day, should have meant playing with small amounts. NAH! Totally threw 8 units of CAC on and off six time in a row. Every single one of those trades make about 3% and each and every time I looked at that number:
First thought: I shoiuld bank that.
Followed quickly by:
Second thought: I did have a paper profit of 40%, that isn't going to be enough, just a couple ticks more.
Of course what then happens is the trend I was trying to fight would continue and I would find myself at the point of pain and jump out.
It wasn't the set-ups I was seeing that was the problem. IT wasn't that the moves weren't enough to make bread and butter with, it was my attitude and need for thrill. The drug fueled maniac wanted another hit. The home-body family man wanted out.
So Mr Drug-head got himself a big psychological hammer and beat Mr Family a few times till he got big mad enough to throttle Mr Drug-head and take control again.
I think this has the potential to be a big problem for me.
I don't want it to stop.
I know where it does stop on one hand - smashed account.
So I did something a little bit sensible. Not closing accounts and calling it quits, 'cause that would be quitting. I lowered my account leverage.
A small step. Can only carry 4 units of ASX and 3 of CAC. But it's half of where I was.
If I can just control the need to be in the market every time I look at it. I'll be a step closer still.
I think Angel should read this.
I find it so hard to speak to someone, but I can write shit to the internet with ease.
Beat myself up
Couldn't wait any longer. After the last couple days of doldrums, things have looked like they are picking up again. There have been some noticeable rises in ASX, CAC and DAX. Rate announcement from the US still hasn't happened. But I think everyone has had a think and have ideas or are positioned where they want to be. Having some 'normal' markets again is a nice change.
Still sitting on a 25% loss for one account, +10% for the other. Will gradually increase that over time. Strangely enough the calm assurance is still there. This would mark either week 3 or 4. I can't remember the beginning for this year.
Now that I have traded for the firs time, the urge is there. Gotta have more! I don't need to do anything else today. Account looks healthier after my short early Euro session. Anything more is likely to be a bad idea.
Maybe I'll demo. Get irritated that "it's not the real thing, i could be making squillions here" then go to live and trash my account and rage quit.
Been there before.
Still sitting on a 25% loss for one account, +10% for the other. Will gradually increase that over time. Strangely enough the calm assurance is still there. This would mark either week 3 or 4. I can't remember the beginning for this year.
Now that I have traded for the firs time, the urge is there. Gotta have more! I don't need to do anything else today. Account looks healthier after my short early Euro session. Anything more is likely to be a bad idea.
Maybe I'll demo. Get irritated that "it's not the real thing, i could be making squillions here" then go to live and trash my account and rage quit.
Been there before.
Tuesday, 15 September 2015
Zzz
A moving market is an interesting market.
I am so bored I could sleep.
Apparently some no-name country with very little international significance is having an interest rate announcement. Even if they raise rates, it's not as if it will slam any brakes on the figurative car. It would be more like dropping the revs from 5k down to 4.5k. You'd notice the change in engine pitch, but there isn't much difference in the effect.
I am surprised with myself. Have managed to not be glued to the screen this week. Might be something to do with the ridiculous amount of work that I need to get done. Or maybe I have spontaneously discovered restraint and self control.. Either way, nothing doing on the markets today. CAC can go DAX itself
I am so bored I could sleep.
Apparently some no-name country with very little international significance is having an interest rate announcement. Even if they raise rates, it's not as if it will slam any brakes on the figurative car. It would be more like dropping the revs from 5k down to 4.5k. You'd notice the change in engine pitch, but there isn't much difference in the effect.
I am surprised with myself. Have managed to not be glued to the screen this week. Might be something to do with the ridiculous amount of work that I need to get done. Or maybe I have spontaneously discovered restraint and self control.. Either way, nothing doing on the markets today. CAC can go DAX itself
Tuesday, 8 September 2015
animal spirit
I realise something.
As far as animal spirits are concerned, there are two of particular significance for traders: bulls and bears.
Taking a look over the past trades I get the distinct impression that going short is the way I make money.
Is suspect I am a bear. Probably not a perma-bear, but I tend to be more successful and enjoy more, watching the market crash and burn.
It could be a consequence of having the ability to short a falling market. With the news wailing about the falls in stocks, trillions of dollars lost... problem is, it isn't really lost. Someone gets it. Although that too is a somewhat simplistic view. I don't have a firm enough understanding of where the money goes to explain it yet.
As far as animal spirits are concerned, there are two of particular significance for traders: bulls and bears.
Taking a look over the past trades I get the distinct impression that going short is the way I make money.
Is suspect I am a bear. Probably not a perma-bear, but I tend to be more successful and enjoy more, watching the market crash and burn.
It could be a consequence of having the ability to short a falling market. With the news wailing about the falls in stocks, trillions of dollars lost... problem is, it isn't really lost. Someone gets it. Although that too is a somewhat simplistic view. I don't have a firm enough understanding of where the money goes to explain it yet.
drugs
I want them again. More than ever.
People at work giving me stress. Don't want it, or need it. So instead I stress myself out in another completely different way, by over trading and over leverage. Was carrying 6 units on the CAC this evening. For some context, 1 is enough to wipe my account on a bad move. Totally was a thrill to watch the fucker go against me for nearly an hour. By the time it went where I thought it would, I was tired and starting to get the shakes from adrenalin decline. I can blame the cold instead. Got a hot water bottle to prove it!
Didn't need that trade, could have happily left everything alone after the first of the day. But, like anything I get addicted to - I gotta have more!
The struggle isn't with finding good trades, or doing the safe and reasonable thing.
The struggle is the conflict between the safe and the interesting. I like interesting, it gives my brain something to mull over. But to actually make money from this ridiculous thing requires that I don't get the thrill. Play the strong hand and let the rest fold.
It's basically a numbers game. Find the edge (an/any) and play that over and over. Provided there is something genuine about that edge, probability will work in your favour. However, doing something thrilling and fun after each edge trade only ends up churning my account.
Do more of one and less of the other.
But, as the rush starts to subside, I'll open the platform and look again... I know I shouldn't. No more tonight. But it's a matter of wait and see. Inside is that voracious being that always want one more hit.
People at work giving me stress. Don't want it, or need it. So instead I stress myself out in another completely different way, by over trading and over leverage. Was carrying 6 units on the CAC this evening. For some context, 1 is enough to wipe my account on a bad move. Totally was a thrill to watch the fucker go against me for nearly an hour. By the time it went where I thought it would, I was tired and starting to get the shakes from adrenalin decline. I can blame the cold instead. Got a hot water bottle to prove it!
Didn't need that trade, could have happily left everything alone after the first of the day. But, like anything I get addicted to - I gotta have more!
The struggle isn't with finding good trades, or doing the safe and reasonable thing.
The struggle is the conflict between the safe and the interesting. I like interesting, it gives my brain something to mull over. But to actually make money from this ridiculous thing requires that I don't get the thrill. Play the strong hand and let the rest fold.
It's basically a numbers game. Find the edge (an/any) and play that over and over. Provided there is something genuine about that edge, probability will work in your favour. However, doing something thrilling and fun after each edge trade only ends up churning my account.
Do more of one and less of the other.
But, as the rush starts to subside, I'll open the platform and look again... I know I shouldn't. No more tonight. But it's a matter of wait and see. Inside is that voracious being that always want one more hit.
Sunday, 6 September 2015
Rockin' it out...
As my stomach growls and my mind runs around and around in circles, I am watching the ASX200 blip up and down a couple points at a time. I can do this. Too easy. Just ignore my hunger, ignore my tired and aching body, ignore my family, ignore my actual life. Trading for profit!
Friday, 4 September 2015
Boring week
Things went south early in the week and then got better. The main trouble is stopping. I would love to deny it, but trading is a thrill for me. Like a drug that I can't seem to put down. Perhaps it's my personality that's doing it. I can think of plenty of things that I have taken an unhealthy interest in. But that's not to say that I am purely a creature of animal drives and motivations. It is tempered with intellect. Not entirely controlled. For some things, I know it's simpler to just avoid the triggers for temptation. For others there is the gradual harnessing.
Trading: I'm not there yet. I know I should stop for the week, take a break and pretend for a little while that it isn't there.
A few successes late in the week:
ASX has been yo-yoing a little, but not uncontrollably.
CAC slowly getting to grips with this little beastie. Generally follows the DAX, but with somewhat smaller moves. They aren't lock-step and can get out of synch occasionally. Appears to follow the patterns I am watching for.
DAX - nice big moves, but I can't understand them yet. Always seems to move further and faster than I expect, then it'll do what I was looking for 10-20 points past where I thought it would do them. Bugger of a thing to try catching.
As always, S/R appears to hold consistently for them all. Now that I have a clearer idea of what does work for me, I need practice, patience, experience doing it.
I completely didn't time anything right this evening. Draw-down was way higher than it should ever be. Got lucky anyway. On a less resilient day I would have closed out loss after loss and then watch them all go back to green. That cycle ends up with a severely depleted account and frustration, anger, disbelief. I am starting to develop the separation from the result.
If it didn't work, close it. Wait for the next one.
meh, enough rambling for today.
Trading: I'm not there yet. I know I should stop for the week, take a break and pretend for a little while that it isn't there.
A few successes late in the week:
ASX has been yo-yoing a little, but not uncontrollably.
CAC slowly getting to grips with this little beastie. Generally follows the DAX, but with somewhat smaller moves. They aren't lock-step and can get out of synch occasionally. Appears to follow the patterns I am watching for.
DAX - nice big moves, but I can't understand them yet. Always seems to move further and faster than I expect, then it'll do what I was looking for 10-20 points past where I thought it would do them. Bugger of a thing to try catching.
As always, S/R appears to hold consistently for them all. Now that I have a clearer idea of what does work for me, I need practice, patience, experience doing it.
I completely didn't time anything right this evening. Draw-down was way higher than it should ever be. Got lucky anyway. On a less resilient day I would have closed out loss after loss and then watch them all go back to green. That cycle ends up with a severely depleted account and frustration, anger, disbelief. I am starting to develop the separation from the result.
If it didn't work, close it. Wait for the next one.
meh, enough rambling for today.
Thursday, 3 September 2015
Into the vortex
This isn't something new for me. I've tried my hand at trading for a number of years. Each year seemingly exactly the same as the last.
I'd fund an account. Double my money in a relatively short space of time. Then over a period of time, from days to weeks, I'd lose, and lose and lose. Without even an inkling of an idea why.
"This time it's different"
Each and every time I start, I'd be telling myself this one phrase over and over.
Except it wasn't.
Cycle repeat.
So I've done it again. Funded another account. This time IT IS different.
I'd fund an account. Double my money in a relatively short space of time. Then over a period of time, from days to weeks, I'd lose, and lose and lose. Without even an inkling of an idea why.
"This time it's different"
Each and every time I start, I'd be telling myself this one phrase over and over.
Except it wasn't.
Cycle repeat.
So I've done it again. Funded another account. This time IT IS different.
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